Dhananjay

Following is the joint statement issued after talks between the prime ministers of India and Pakistan at Sharm-el-Sheikh, Egypt on Thursday July 16th, 2009:

The Prime Minister of India, Manmohan Singh, and the Prime Minister of Pakistan, Syed Yusuf Raza Gilani, met in Sharm-el-Sheikh on July 16, 2009.

The two Prime Ministers had a cordial and constructive meeting. They considered the entire gamut of bilateral relations with a view to charting the way forward in India-Pakistan relations. Both leaders agreed that terrorism is the main threat to both countries. Both leaders affirmed their resolve to fight terrorism and to cooperate with each other to this end.

Prime Minister Singh reiterated the need to bring the perpetrators of the Mumbai attack to justice. Prime Minister Gilani assured that Pakistan will do everything in its power in this regard. He said that Pakistan had provided an updated status dossier on the investigations of the Mumbai attacks and had sought additional information/evidence. Prime Minister Singh said that the dossier is being reviewed.

Both leaders agreed that the two countries will share real time, credible and actionable information on any future terrorist threats.

Prime Minister Gilani mentioned that Pakistan has some information on threats in Baluchistan and other areas.

Both Prime Ministers recognised that dialogue is the only way forward. Action on terrorism should not be linked to the composite dialogue process and these should not be bracketed. Prime Minister Singh said that India was ready to discuss all issues with Pakistan, including all outstanding issues.

Prime Minister Singh reiterated India's interest in a stable, democratic, Islamic Republic of Pakistan.

Both leaders agreed that the real challenge is development and the elimination of poverty.

Both leaders are resolved to eliminate those factors which prevent our countries from realizing their full potential. Both agreed to work to create an atmosphere of mutual trust and confidence.

Both leaders reaffirmed their intention to promote regional cooperation.

Both foreign secretaries should meet as often as necessary and report to the two foreign ministers who will be meeting on the sidelines of the forthcoming UN General Assembly.

This whole statement reminds me of a joke I heard as a kid. Apparently there is a Humor Club meeting that a memeber once invites his friend to attend. When they go for the club meet, some one stands up and says "16" and people start laughing. Later, someone else stands up & says "37". There is silence for a coupel of seconds and the whole room breaks in to a laughter again. And so it goes for the rest of the meeting. Afterwards, on the way out, the guy who attended the club meet for the first time, asks his friends, who was a member of the club, as to what just happened. His friend explained that since they have been members of this club for years, they have pretty much heard all the jokes that there are. So, they have assigned each joke a number. When a member shares a number, they know which joke he wants to share and they laugh!

Unfortunately, the joint statements of India and Pakistan have indeed become jokes by themselevs and it is just about time to assign a number to each childish point that is reiterated adnauseum in such statements.

Read this - "Prime Minister Singh reiterated the need to bring the perpetrators of the Mumbai attack to justice. Prime Minister Gilani assured that Pakistan will do everything in its power in this regard." Let's assign this as # 12. Oh ya... and a snake I saw in the jungle yesterday promised to crawl in a straight line from now on.

Or how about this cliche - # 27 "Both leaders agreed that the real challenge is development and the elimination of poverty." Oh ya and the alchoholics at the Alchoholics Anonymous meet agreed that food subsidies by western countries were responsible for the failure of the Doha round of the World Trade Agreement. So what's there not to agree?

Want a really funny one? Here is # 41 - "Prime Minister Singh said that India was ready to discuss all issues with Pakistan, including all outstanding issues. " Oh really? You mean we were going to discuss non-outstanding issues as well as outstanding issues? I did not know that! How ignorant of me. These idiots are insulting the common sense ("aam bheja" - hey I just coined a new word ) of the common man (aam admi).

Did you get a sense while reading the above joint statement like some one just out of an MBA school is running the company? What with the statement "Action on terrorism should not be linked to the composite dialogue process and these should not be bracketed." Really? If so, what exactly is stopping the 2 countries from talking since last November? I thought terrorism WAS one of the 5-6 key topics of composite dialogue. Boy, I feel so not well-read!

Want proof of childish behavior of novices? How about the 2nd half of this statement - "Action on terrorism should not be linked to the composite dialogue process and these should not be bracketed." Oh really? What exactly does "bracketed" mean? Sounds like 2 children talking in their code language so that mommy would not undertstand the mischief in school that they are refering to, doesn't it? Besides, what does "Action on terrorism should not be linked to the composite dialogue process" NOT cover that "and these should not be bracketed" DOES cover? Idiots!!

Who the heck do they think they are serving? Some other wine-sipping "intellectual" sitting in an air-conditoned room with a great command of the nuances of diplomatese but with an utter lack of a comprehensive strategic perspecitve on how best to protect & advance India's interests OR the common man working his xxx off to make a living who just needs some honest answers he can understand?

Did some thing happen, say on November 26th, 2008? Let me give the beuraucrats and ministers some clues - it has to do with some 5-star hotels in Mumbai, some Pakistani "tourists" coming to Mumbai shores on a boat and the rest of India glued to it's TV sets for 60 hours after that. It has to do with some Chief Minister of Maharashtra taking his bollywood buddy on a terror tour of a 5-star hotel. It has to do with a former home miniskirt, I mean Home Minister, making childish statements. Was I talking about the Home Minister of Maharashtra or of India? The answer is YES

We have not negotiated with Pakistan since then. I wonder why? May be because a 4-year old stole the pencil of a 5-year old who then decided to take "katty" with (decision not to talk to) the 4-year old?

Need even more clues - you retards in the Foreign Ministry of India & in the Prime Minister's Office? Then bang your head real hard on the wall 10 times and you will remember. If you still do not remember, ask the mothers of the NSG commandos who laid their lives on 26/11 to "check out" some Pakistani guests from some 5-star hotels in Mumbai.

Oh ya, and one last note for the Foreign Ministry of India. Do publish the list of all "cliches" and their assigned numerical codes so that all future statements can just include a single line of numbers. We can save a few thousand trees by reducing the amount of paper that such crap is printed on. That may just be the biggest benefit coming out of these joint statement! How tragic